Right-of-Way

Yes, people. Just like driving, NYC streetwalkers and subway riders need to abide by some simple right-of-way rules. I pray that one day every walker/rider will understand that sometimes they don't go first; that they aren't the only person on the sidewalk; and (for the love of god) that it won't hurt to follow some common rules of decency.

For all of you who don't understand what I'm talking about....please try to remember the last time a woman walked out of Bloomingdale's directly into your path on the side walk. She, without hesitation, stops inches from your being. She shuffles her feet and the various sized "brown bags" in her obnoxious hands. There would have been a total body collision if you hadn't been paying attention. She looks uptown, downtown, then uptown again. She walks uptown 2 paces and then turns to walk downtown (all while in your way). If you're lucky, she briefly stops to look at grid map. The last time that happened was yesterday, wasn't it? Just what I thought.

1) Its like pulling out of a driveway. You always look to see who's coming, right? Don't just aimlessly walk onto the sidewalk without looking around you. We're not asking for the world here, just understand your surroundings. I can see you, why can't you see me?

2) We get to our subway stop. You've been sitting and snoozing since Jamaica. I've been standing over you since the last stop. Don't try to get up and around me while I'm trying to hold on. We're ALL getting off here. There's no need to try and get in front of me. Sit your ass down and wait your turn. I have the right of way b/c I'm closer to the door and I don't have to inconvenience you to get off first.

3) My subway is sitting at the platform. "Ding Dong - stand clear of the closing doors please", I hear the bell ring signaling that the doors are about to close. "Ding Dong - stand clear of the closing doors please", I hear it again. "Ding Dong stand clear of the closing doors please", one more time. Is there seriously still something in the doors? Nah, the train designed in 1978 must be broken....again. I'm on the stairwell and have ample time to make it to the train due to this slight delay. When I hear that bell, I automatically hustle (just like Pavlov's salivating dog). But, I don't make it. Why? Because I'm being body rushed by the few people that just got OFF that train now going up the stairs. They are not in a rush; they're actually taking their time. Here, I have the right of way....my path is more urgent.

4) The right-of-urgency rule is also applicable to street walking. Take, for example, when the little red hand is blinking as you approach an intersection. You hustle to cross the street. But the walkers crossing the street perpendicular get it your way. You can't even get to the curb. But they're about to get the white hand! There's no rush for them. Here again, I have the right of way....my path is more urgent.

I'm going to end here by mentioning two people I don't like.....and what I do to teach them a lesson. They haven't fit into any of my blog themes but their mentioning is overdue. So here they are, completely out of context.

1) The guy (why is it always a guy?) who leans against the subway pole so no one else can hold on. You know what I do? Squeeze my fingers behind his back. Pretend he isn't there. He'll move. And occasionally you get a mumbled apology. But most of the time it will just be a nasty look.

2) The person who walks into a revolving door before you and doesn't PUSH. Don't give in. Refuse to push as well. When they realize they're not going anywhere they'll remember the fundamental rule of revolving doors.